Waiting

In recent years I have realized that I have no patience. I hate waiting. I hate anticipation. And I especially hate waiting when I have no guarantee that the something I am waiting for is actually going to happen. I get anxious. I get distracted. I am too easily lost in my own thoughts and fears.

I'm waiting for something to happen right now. And there is no guarantee that it will actually come. But I am waiting nonetheless. Hoping that it will come, that it will happen. Hoping that all of my waiting and anxious emotions are not in vain. Imagining how it will all play out if it does happen. Trying not to think how I'll feel if it doesn't happen.

But I guess I should be used to the disappointment by now. Well-acquainted with the emotions that come in that exact moment when I realize that all of my waiting and anticipation and hoping and imagining was a waste of time, energy and mental anguish.

And yet, I still wait. I still anticipate and imagine and hope. Because someday something will happen. So I wait.

I hate waiting.

Just Like This

The moon is bright
It's a perfect night
I feel a rush
Every time we touch

You're on bended knee
I'm finding it hard to breathe
As the tears make their way down my face
You take my hand and we start to sway

In your blue suede shoes or my cold bare feet
At a black tie event or in an empty street
To a full-band set or the only song you sing
This is my one request, just promise me one thing
That you'll dance with me just like this - and I'll say yes

You're on bended knee
I'm finding it hard to breathe
As the tears make their way down my face
You take my hand and we start to sway

Holding me tight
I want this to come out right
I whisper in your ear
Now listen closely my dear

Through whatever happens, both the good and the bad
Happy or sad, and especially when we're mad
Believe me when I say I don't even need a ring
This is my one request, just promise me one thing
That you'll dance with me just like this - and I'll say yes

Sleeping With Lions

You left me all alone
And now in this bed all alone
I have space to breathe and time to think
Think of all that went wrong
All that once was and will never be

It's like sleeping with lions
Dreams become nightmares when I close my eyes
And I'm fighting off the ghosts you left behind
It's like sleeping with lions without you here by my side

I try so hard to stay awake
But heavy eyes win the fight
The weight of our mistakes drags me under
I'm scared of what I'll remember
Scared of what I'll regret

It's like sleeping with lions
Dreams become nightmares when I close my eyes
And I'm fighting off the ghosts you left behind
It's like sleeping with lions without you here

I wrestle with my conscience and so much more
Hoping that you'll come back through that door
Remembering the time you said those words to me
These raging lions make it hard to beathe

You kept the monsters at bay
Always said the words I needed you to say
I fill my days with what could have been
And at night I'm fighting a fight I can never win

It's like sleeping with lions
Dreams become nightmares when I close my eyes
And I'm fighting off the ghosts you left behind
It's like sleeping with lions without you here by my side